Although by no means a new term, something that has been particularly
bothering me this week has been the amount of times the word ‘frape’ or ‘Facebook
rape’ has come up on my news feed. For anyone not familiar with the term, it is
when someone updates a status on someone else’s Facebook account as a joke,
they then the person whose account it is quickly points out to everyone on
their news feed that they didn’t post that status and that they have been ‘fraped’.
Sure, when this happens it can be annoying, or potentially embarrassing,
depending on what is written, but it is in no way comparable to being raped.
Being raped is a horrific and violent crime; that can leave physical, emotional
and psychological scars that last a life time. Completely not the same as your friend playing
a joke on you.
Normally when I speak out about this, people tell me frape
is just a word, and it’s nothing to get upset about and that I should really
stop overreacting. They are wrong, it isn’t just a word, and I’m not
overreacting. It’s a constant reminder and symbol that we not only live in a
society that rape even happens in the first place, but that we live in a society
that values women so little that one of the worse crimes imaginable can be
turned into a joke. It is an insult to millions of female and male survivors of
rape every time it is used.
It also massively bothers me that many people do not
consider at all that using the word frape on Facebook so casually could potentially
be extremely distressing and traumatic
for someone they are friends with, as statistically 1 in 10 British
women will experience rape or sexual violence in their lifetime. It is
completely possible that someone they know has been raped or sexually assaulted
and they are making light of everything that friend has experienced by using
the word to describe an untrue Facebook status. It’s disgusting. Even if this
isn’t the case, even if no one they are friends with has been raped or sexually
assaulted, by using the word it is perpetuating the message that rape is something
to laugh about, that it is a joke, that it isn’t a serious crime and that in
society women’s rights aren’t important.
We need people to not only stop using this horrible (and completely
inaccurate) word, but to also confront every person they see use it. Simply not
using the word frape isn’t enough, we need to challenge anyone that seems to
hold the view that rape is a laughing matter.
What about you, do you find the word problematic? Or are
there any other words you take offence to?
