tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2736360426376144602024-03-19T20:40:37.529+00:00More Than Just a Head Full of DinosaursSamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08862290283917396988noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273636042637614460.post-12644105371544042622012-07-18T23:08:00.000+01:002012-07-18T23:08:44.418+01:00Why is Chris Brown back in the charts?<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Last week while casually procrastinating on the internet I discovered
that Chris Brown was number 1 in the UK album charts, and in the top 5 of the
singles chart. This is just so unbelievably depressing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Three years ago Chris brown violently beat his then
girlfriend Rihanna and <a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1606481/chris-brown-police-report-provides-details-altercation.jhtml">threatened to kill her</a>. Three years ago Radio 1 (and
many other radio stations) stopped playing Chris Brown’s music because of his
attack on her. Two years ago the UK refused to give Chris Brown a working visa
and therefore entry into the country due to a <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10263828">“serious criminal offence”</a> so he
had to postpone his UK tour. Two years ago Chris Brown posted a video message
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugwYXzNO3K4">begging</a> his fans to buy his music still. I’m just confused to how we got to the
point where the UK forgot all of this, and started buying his music again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">It’s almost like the UK is sending out the message that as a
country it condemns domestic violence, but only directly afterward it happens,
and then it’s all forgive and forget. It
is wrong to ‘move on’ from Chris Brown’s domestic violence as this sends a
message out to society, and to young girls particularly, that domestic violence
is socially acceptable. Sure, you’ll get a slap round the wrist, have to
apologise, but then everyone will forget and you’ll be popular again. This is so
completely wrong. 1 in 4 women will be a
victim of domestic violence in their lifetime and on average 2 women a week are
killed by a current or former partner, <i>killed</i>.
Nothing should ever suggest this is socially acceptable, even if it is indirectly
suggesting this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">What if a teenage girl is hit by her boyfriend, and then he
says he’s sorry, that he’ll never do it again and that he’s changed (like Chris
Brown) and then she accepts the apology? Then he hits her again, this time
harder. He apologises, she accepts. This is the beginning of the cycle of
abuse. The music industry, and society as a whole, had the chance to take a
stand against domestic abuse. They could have potentially prevented others
falling into the same cycle of abuse by suggesting to these women and girls it
is okay to forgive an abuser if they say they are sorry. They could have taken
steps towards this by condemning Chris Brown. His current chart position shows
that they failed miserably. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Then again, <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/horrible-reactions-to-chris-brown-at-the-grammys">these tweets</a> show that as a society on the
whole, we are failing pretty miserably. Violence is not a compliment. We’ve got
an incredibly long and complicated way to go to stop tweets (or thoughts) like
this happening, but boycotting Chris Brown’s music would be a good place to
start.</span><o:p></o:p></div>Samhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08862290283917396988noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273636042637614460.post-40524337403234197232012-07-15T15:17:00.001+01:002012-07-15T15:17:49.814+01:00A Question of Having it All<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Increasingly we live in a society that tells women that not
only can they ‘have it all’ but that they absolutely should. It has almost
become an expectation that young women today should aspire to have a high power
career, a fantastic relationship with a romantic partner, a large social circle
and active social life, a string of hobbies and interests, to be attractive,
fit and in shape, a clean and tidy house and to juggle all of this with having
children. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">As much as society seems to be telling women they should be
‘having it all’, it doesn’t seem to be making it any easier for women to
achieve this. Currently female unemployment in the UK is at a 25 year high and
increasingly middle aged women are the first to be made redundant, and the last
to be hired. Women still do the majority of the domestic labour and on average
the amount of cooking, cleaning and childcare done by men has changed little
since the 80s. The cost of childcare continues to rise even though wages do
not. This isn’t just about facts and statistics; it’s about real life
experiences. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">This week at work one of my male colleagues finished at 3 on
Friday (our office hours are until 5.30) to go and pick his daughter up from school
because he wanted to spend some time with her and take her to the park and he
was widely praised for being a fantastic dad. Now I’m by no means saying that
he isn’t a great parent as I’m sure he is, but there are lots of women in the
company who work flexible hours so they can do the school run every day and to
spend time with their children when they finish school and to my knowledge no
one has ever called them a fantastic parent because they pick their children up
from the school gates. It’s because it
is expected from women, in a way it isn’t from men. I’m in no way saying that
this is true for everyone, I know many men are stay at home dads, and many do
the most of the childcare, but this isn’t the case for the majority of people. We need to stop expecting women to be
superheroes, and to expect more from men when it comes to childcare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I’ve also experienced women who choose not to have children
being called selfish. Whether a woman decides she doesn’t want a baby because
of her career, because she values her sleep or because she’d rather not be tied
down, I can’t see how this is a selfish decision. Again, I’ve never heard a man
be called selfish if he doesn’t have children and doesn’t want to. If anything,
having lots of children when the planet has such overpopulation issues can be
considered a selfish decision, but it’s very rarely that this will be brought
up. Society believes that all women want, and should have children, and any
that don’t aren’t ‘normal’. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">As a feminist I strongly believe in choice. If a woman wants
to and is able to be a stay at home mum, then she should completely do so, and
her contribution to society should be valued much higher as raising children is
incredibly difficult. If a woman wants to have children and a career, then
society should be structured in a way that no only allows this to happen, but
actually makes it easier to combine both. If a woman doesn’t want children then
she should never be criticised, and she should never be seen as less of a woman
because of it, I know plenty of people who believe that having a child is the
mark of womanhood, and this is wrong. There are lots of amazing things in life,
and having children is only one of them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">It shouldn’t just be a question of having it all and how to
achieve that, but also a question of “is having it all right for everyone?” I
think for a lot of women, it isn’t, and that is okay. Feminism is about having
the freedom to choose, and being supported in that decision. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">What about you? How do you feel about having it all?</span><o:p></o:p></div>Samhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08862290283917396988noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273636042637614460.post-8477673657035486472012-07-08T00:01:00.002+01:002012-07-08T00:01:51.582+01:00To "frape", or not to "frape"<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="background-color: white;">Although by no means a new term, something that has been particularly
bothering me this week has been the amount of times the word ‘frape’ or ‘Facebook
rape’ has come up on my news feed. For anyone not familiar with the term, it is
when someone updates a status on someone else’s Facebook account as a joke,
they then the person whose account it is quickly points out to everyone on
their news feed that they didn’t post that status and that they have been ‘fraped’.
Sure, when this happens it can be annoying, or potentially embarrassing,
depending on what is written, but it is in no way comparable to being raped.
Being raped is a horrific and violent crime; that can leave physical, emotional
and psychological scars that last a life time. </span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;">Completely not the same as your friend playing
a joke on you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Normally when I speak out about this, people tell me frape
is just a word, and it’s nothing to get upset about and that I should really
stop overreacting. They are wrong, it isn’t just a word, and I’m not
overreacting. It’s a constant reminder and symbol that we not only live in a
society that rape even happens in the first place, but that we live in a society
that values women so little that one of the worse crimes imaginable can be
turned into a joke. It is an insult to millions of female and male survivors of
rape every time it is used. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">It also massively bothers me that many people do not
consider at all that using the word frape on Facebook so casually could potentially
be extremely distressing and traumatic
for someone they are friends with, as statistically <a href="http://pthblog.amnesty.org.uk/each-year-around-1-in-10-women-in-britain-experience-rape-or-other-violence/">1 in 10</a> British
women will experience rape or sexual violence in their lifetime. It is
completely possible that someone they know has been raped or sexually assaulted
and they are making light of everything that friend has experienced by using
the word to describe an untrue Facebook status. It’s disgusting. Even if this
isn’t the case, even if no one they are friends with has been raped or sexually
assaulted, by using the word it is perpetuating the message that rape is something
to laugh about, that it is a joke, that it isn’t a serious crime and that in
society women’s rights aren’t important. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">We need people to not only stop using this horrible (and completely
inaccurate) word, but to also confront every person they see use it. Simply not
using the word frape isn’t enough, we need to challenge anyone that seems to
hold the view that rape is a laughing matter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">What about you, do you find the word problematic? Or are
there any other words you take offence to?</span><o:p></o:p></div>Samhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08862290283917396988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273636042637614460.post-6647781515900094642012-06-29T20:42:00.000+01:002012-06-29T20:42:56.247+01:00Wise Words<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #474747; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; line-height: 115%;">The
King blues are one of my very favourite bands, and their lyrics always resonate
with me. I’ve always been a bit of a lotions and potions fan, and whilst I don’t
think there is anything wrong with this, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded
that I will always be much more than what is on the outside. So I thought I’d
share <3 </span></div>
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<span style="color: #474747; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #474747; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The first time I heard this poem live, I got shivers. Here’s an
extract, but click on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJrzIJTtXT4">here</a> to hear the rest.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #474747; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">“I
ain't afraid to say<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
I think that women are beautiful and strong<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
Too fat, too thin that's just media spin<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
You look best when you're comfortable in your own
skin<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
So I'm sorry if you feel undue<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
If the truth be known I'm in awe of you<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
You're a giver of life and a warrior too<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
So do you really need five different bottles of
shampoo?”</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">What do you think?</span><o:p></o:p></div>Samhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08862290283917396988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273636042637614460.post-6880990672532372662012-06-21T22:16:00.000+01:002012-06-21T22:16:20.791+01:00On not being the Fun Police<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I hate wolf whistling, and random strangers shouting </span><i style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">“alright love” </i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">or similar comments</span><i style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </i><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">at me in the street makes me feel very
uncomfortable. I've been told before that I need to learn how to take a
compliment, and I should be pleased that men find me attractive, but actually I’m
very good at taking compliments, when they are genuine, and actually I don’t
believe these comments have anything to do with my looks. It’s street harassment,
plain and simple.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">People are probably going to disagree, and for a while I thought
there was something wrong with me for not liking ‘compliments’, so I understand.
I changed my mind a few years ago when I was walking home and a man walking in
the opposite direction said “<i>give us a
kiss beautiful” </i>as he walked past me. Thankfully he kept walking, but for
the rest of my walk home I thought about the comment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">His comment made me a little bit scared, and a little bit angry,
and I tried to work out why. Surely a man wanting to kiss me must be a good
thing? But then I really thought about it, and decided it seemed unlikely any
woman would have received that comment and decided, <i>yeah alright, I want to snog this strange man in the street</i>, it
just wasn’t going to happen. He clearly knew this, or he would have at least
stopped on the pavement, expectantly waiting for my reply. The comment had
nothing to do with attraction, and everything to do with power. He was asserting
his power in a situation where he knew I would feel uneasy, I didn’t keep
walking thinking “<i>yay a stranger thinks I’m
pretty!”</i> I walked a little bit faster, and kept checking behind me as I walked
home. If he had wanted to make me feel positive about myself, a simple smile
would have done, and I believe he knew that and chose to make the comment
regardless. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">When I speak out about this, and every situation like it, people
look at me like I’m the fun police, and I’m against flirting. All I can say is
if your flirting is confused for harassment, you are definitely doing it wrong.
But then again, a<span style="background: white;">nything vaguely suggesting that
male behaviour should be altered, particularly displays of heterosexual
masculinity, generally aren’t received very well.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The sad thing
is that many women I know just think street harassment (even if they don’t call
it that) is just an inevitable part of life. It isn’t, or at least it shouldn't be. It happens because women’s
bodies are still, in part, considered public property, it happens because some
men feel they can assert their masculinity by making women feel powerless. It’s
something we all need to challenge, whether it’s a man touching your bum in a
club, which is only ever acceptable if you want his hand there, and I know too
many women that just pretend it isn’t happening because they don’t know what
else to do, or someone making comments that make you uncomfortable. It needs to
stop, because flirting and harassment are never the same, and the first step is
standing up to it, even if that step is just talking openly about the
difference between the two. Flirting involves mutual consent, harassment doesn't. </span><o:p></o:p></div>Samhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08862290283917396988noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273636042637614460.post-36788600157482253092012-06-13T23:28:00.000+01:002012-06-13T23:53:22.517+01:00The First Myth<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Last week I posted about my feelings on young women
rejecting the label of feminist, you can read it <a href="http://head-full-of-dinosaurs.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/im-not-feminist-but.html">here</a>. I said I’d look at the
myths and realities of being a young feminist (or not being), so here goes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">………………<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">In my experience, young women today seem to have a
particular problem with feminists, and the idea of being called one, to the
point where many are quick to deny any
need for such a thing: <i>“Oh no, I mean feminism
was good when it got us the vote and equal pay, but it’s fine now, everything’s
sorted, we are equal, if feminists push any more, women will be more than equal
to men, and that’s unfair on men, we can’t have that, that would be TOO far.” O</i>ne
of the many reasons for this rejection is because of the First Myth of
Feminism: ‘Feminists are ugly’. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The general view seems to be feminists are ugly, hairy and
are just angry because they can’t get boyfriends. Or at least that’s what the stereotyping
would lead you to believe. It’s not that there is anything wrong with being
these things, hell I have hairy legs now and that isn’t a protest against the
razor and capitalist beauty standards (however more on this another time), it’s
a mark of my laziness and the fact this morning I chose five minutes extra in my
snuggly bed over the faff of shaving my legs, but alas we live in a superficial
world, and no one wants to be labelled ugly. This myth is ridiculous on two
counts. Firstly it’s a lie, of course feminists are beautiful, and secondly the
fact the label ‘ugly’ bothers women so much clearly shows we are in need a good
bit of feminism.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The problem is, ugly is a really powerful label. When I was
14 a boy who sat in front of me in lessons and who I totally fancied, turned
around and told me I could be quite pretty if I wasn’t so lanky and spotty. As
any teenager will tell you, the absence of being called pretty is being called
ugly. From that moment on I wasted hours of my life staring at myself in the mirror
willing myself to be less gangly and for the offending spots to bugger off, I
just wanted to be ‘pretty’. The stupid thing is, if I’d spent all of those
pointless hours hating how I looked doing my school work instead, I’d be a frik’in
genius right about now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">This is why the label ugly works so well at keeping women
away from feminism, it’s the easiest way to dismiss someone and her options, <i>“don’t bother listening to her, she’s just
pissy because she’s ugly”</i>. It’s insane logic, no normal person would ever
not listen to or believe, for example, their doctor because the doctor was
ugly, yet calling a feminist ugly seems to discredit their option, and in one
fell swoop stop anyone else wanting to identify as feminist for fear of the ‘U’
word. Crazy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">But then, maybe it’s not so crazy. We live in a society that
tells a girl her self-worth should come from how aesthetically pleasing a boy
finds her appearance, just turn on your television and pay attention if you don’t
believe me. So for a girl to be told by a boy she is ugly, can be crushing. Right
from birth girls are fed messages that the most important thing she can do with
her life is be pretty, and gender stereotyping is everywhere. Even on cards. I
swear if I have a child and I get a card like these, I’m going to scream. My
baby will be brilliant AND beautiful and their gender will have nothing to do
with this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://msmagazine.com/blog/files/2011/08/Brilliant-Boy-Beautiful-Girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="http://msmagazine.com/blog/files/2011/08/Brilliant-Boy-Beautiful-Girl.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">What we really need is for girls to grow up being taught
that being themselves and doing what makes them happy is the most important
thing in life, and what genuinely makes them happy, not what they think should.
We need them to be told every day that beautiful is a kind heart and a curious
mind, not physical appearance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I read somewhere a
while ago that children learn to recognise their reflection in the mirror
around the age of two, by about two and a half little girls are starting to
dislike what they see, little boys do not. I wish I could remember where I read
this, because it provoked such a strong reaction in me, I hate the thought that
we live in a society that is teaching little girls to hate the way they look,
and teaching them that looks are more important than anything else. I hate that
we live in a society that grown women are so scared of the word ugly that they
won’t identify as a feminist and join together to fight this crap. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">All women
everywhere are beautiful, inside and out, and we need to start telling each other, and
ourselves, more. We need to learn to value our intelligence, personality and creativity, over our looks, so others do the same. We could conquer the world, just as soon as we stop reading
those nasty <i>“get a HOT bikini body, in
only two weeks”</i> articles in glossy magazines and staring in the mirror
dreaming of a tummy tuck/boob/nose job. We need feminism, and we need to talk about it loud and proud before anything can change.
Even if it means some idiot calls you ugly for it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And besides, if a person judges you, it says more about
them, than it does about you.</span><o:p></o:p></div>Samhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08862290283917396988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273636042637614460.post-38706967674529823692012-06-10T20:10:00.000+01:002013-01-01T18:17:32.103+00:00"I'm not a Feminist, but..."<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My name is Sam, and I am a Feminist. I couldn’t be happier about
that too. One of my least favourite things is hearing the casual comment <i>“I’m not a Feminist, but…”</i> followed by a
totally feminist comment. To which I think, hang on, you’re not a feminist but
you just have the opinions of one? Madness. From this I have to conclude,
people clearly don’t know what feminism is, and whatever they think it might
be, they sure as hell don’t want to be associated with it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Now I could write all day about what I think feminism is,
but to keep it short and sweet I’ll go with: Feminism is the belief in the
social, political and economic equality of the sexes. That doesn’t sound too
bad does it? Didn’t think so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">This is the point where I get all confused, I don’t
understand how anyone can say <i>“Equality?...Nah,
that just isn’t for me. Sure, I’m totally cool with the fact tampons are taxed as a ‘luxury’ item, and it
doesn’t bother me at all that if a woman is raped it’s her </i><i>fault, not the rapists, and I think it’s great
that just recently an MP tried to pass <span style="background-color: white;">abstinence sex education, for
girls only, because all a girl needs to be taught at school about sex is not to
do it,</span> that will solve everything!”, </i>because every
time someone says I’m not a feminist, that is exactly what they are saying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I refuse to believe that people I talk to don’t believe
there should be equality, so either people simply don’t realise what feminism
is, in which case maybe I should write it in big letters on one of those
sandwich boards and wear it around town, or there is something else other than
the definition of feminism that is turning people off. To me it feels like a
growing number of young women just don’t want to be associated with feminism,
which makes me sad as feminism is a constant source of joy and strength to me,
and I hate the thought that others are missing out on the fun. The best people
I know are feminists. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So I’m going to take a stab at trying to tackle the myths and the realities of being a young
feminist, in the hope a few more women (or men!) want to stand on their chair
and proclaim to the world: “I AM a Feminist, and I’ve never felt better!”. Everything is
better when you say it standing on a chair, fact.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Samhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08862290283917396988noreply@blogger.com0